serendipitous

No, not making double digit salary yet. 

Do not even have medical coverage. 

However, volunteering five hours a week (OK sometimes 10+) for a non profit start-up has been so much fun. So really really cool. Meeting intelligent people who love what they are doing for a living and unselfishly trying to make small positive changes in their corners of the world to help others by also volunteering.  People who love art. Love cinema. Love theatre. Love the performing arts. People who love to read.  Love to write. Love to listen. Love food. Love to talk. I love it. 

I have always loved start-ups and the inspiration that collaborative efforts instill. 

Sounds silly, but have not met a group of people like this in a long long long long while. 

Important moments

Being an unemployed New Yorker to many means moving back home. I know a few too many couples who had to come back home to their respective parents and to them that meant being separated - no longer a married couple, but now individuals coming back home to live with the parents. A few brought back their kid(s), the girls going with mom and the boys going with Dad. Then there is a handful of single folks. (I am not even going to add up the amount of unemployed New Yorkers who have had to double and triple up as roommates in their apartments because they have no extended family.)

I was one of the ones that came back home, feeling very ashamed that I could NOT sustain myself after losing my own apartment after exhausting my savings and 401k. Sure I've gotten to know my parents a bit more as an adult, but I'm also reminded almost hourly as to why I moved out at 19 or 20.

There are days that they way the transact with each other melts my heart. The kindness and patience that my dad has for my mom is like none other I've seen. He doesn't only hold the door for her, or pull out the chair, I've seen him lean over and cut her pancakes for her, make breakfast for her.

There are days when I want to run and never look back, my mom clearly always emphasizing, "a mom she to a daughter was not what she was meant to be". She wanted all sons. So I'm like the handbag that doesn't go with any of her outfits. Boy is she a fashionista at heart.

Then there are days, however, that my heart just breaks. Days that that I really feel sad for my parents, and even a touch of empathy for mom. 

Last Monday, when I got back from a "working weekend" my dad excitedly greeted me telling me that my brother had invited them over to their home. My heart just opened up and I literally felt my entire body exhale. Finally. It was like the rain clouds had parted and the sun shone. I was supposed to work on Saturday, but it was really really nice to know that they would be going to visit my brother. "The Grands" were finally going to vist their grandchildren in their snazzy new apartment. 

They went shopping Tuesday. Mom picked up a jacket and was doing her finishing touches on it (she practically redesigns every purchase she makes, not just because she is so very petite, but sewing was always a passion of hers. She wanted to go to FIT to study fashion design. Dad had picked up a new shirt, and they were super excited.

Today was the day. Mom was up at 6:30 a.m. putting the finishing touches on her top, ironing my dad’s slacks and shirt, again. At 10 a.m. they greeted various building contractors and by 11 a.m. my brother showed up.  Within 15 minutes I saw the glimmer of disappointment in my mom’s eyes – I think she realized she misunderstood. He wasn’t coming over to take them out. He was coming over to check on the building and meet with the various contractors. She grudgingly made a short grocery list and asked my dad to go to the market.

At dinner time, my parents and I silently ate…my Dad broke the silence by saying, "I guess your mom and I  misunderstood. When you were in Jersey your brother called and we thought he had called to invite us over to his home this weekend." As I ate dinner, I could not make eye contact with either of them, because if I did -- I knew I’d get teary eyed.

THIS is what my brother fails to see. I saw it when I had my monster apartment and worked 14 hours a day and traveling out of town for work, it smacks me in the face now that I am physically back in the same home as they are. It's not about dropping by with a fancy gift or money. It's not about family gatherings where no one has time to interact on a personal level - just superficial chats and major public comedy jabs at each other.  It's about the inidivdual quality time, a private dinner and conversation, enjoying a show together and having dessert and coffee after to talk. Not a group full of noisiness where no one could be heard but were only two people are the center of attraction and no real conversations are ever had, but lots of gossip follows after. 

I’ve spent the past three years trying to point out to my brother, that he should invite my parents to his home at least more than once a year. Maybe around Christmas time or in the Fall. They lived in the same building for so many years, that when they moved out to the upper east side, I saw my mom age tremendously when her “baking buddy” (my niece) moved out. Kids grow up I understand that. But living in the same state, claiming to be “so close and family oriented” I find it ironic that in three years my parents have only been invited over twice. But I’m the “bitch” who makes a big deal of it. Being a "connector" seems to be a big problem for most folks in my family. 

I wish I had the money to send The Grands off to vacation half the year to spend time with their families out of town, I figured it may be easier to be in another state from this NY based family -- because then its acceptable that you don’t ever call each other and only see other for Christmas. The irony always comes when folks die, and everyone gather’s round to pay their respects -- all a little too late in my book, it should have been done when the person was alive. Let them know when they are alive what they mean to you. 

When I was recently sick and reached out to family - I was told "I could not be loved the way I wanted to" where the f#@k that came from I have no clue. I needed someone to go to a few doctors appointments with me and my head was reeeling and I knew I could not worry The Grands as they are way too fragile at their age. But it hit me, as a dishwasher or as a resource or as comedy act, I am good enough, but to call and say "hey how are you, lets have dinner" -- I am not. That's when it hit me, my family is right in front of me. My parents who took me in and let me move back into my childhood room rent free (and, yes live their rules). My family are the friends who called weekly to say, "how is it going?" Or took the time to say, "lets go to a movie and a cup of hot chocolate, my treat." Friends who took the time to call and to help me forget I was unemployed and did not even have the bus fare to meet them half way. Friends who called and said, "take a drive me with me, keep me company I have a few errands to run" - who did not realize the ability to get and a car and temporarily escape the pressue of "will they call about that resume I sent," "will I have a follow up interview," "how will I pay next months phone bill?" "how do I ask for money again this week for a metro card to get to interviews?"

I am doing the best I can with the means that I have for The Grands - they are what matters...even though I would rather have my teeth pulled out one by one with no anesthia than spend more than 10 minutes with my mom - thank goodness dad is the connector that HE is.  Thank goodness.

When should you quit?

This afternoon I found myself filling in for a former college friend at an event he was to host. He called me at noon or 1 p.m., asking can I be there by 3 p.m.? When I hung up the phone I, literally called him back and it was too late - it went to voice mail. All I could muster up where the words, "are you sure you want ME to do this?" and quickly hung up and stared at the phone waiting for it ring back.

I am super busy and super broke. Last year was a bad year, really bad year along from a whopping 3k income and the marathon fights with Verizon, I was constantly sick. I think I am immune to most antibotics on the market right now. How am I suposed to show up and do this with confidence. I am usually am not a quitter, but he sounded so terribly ill, I knew he really wanted me there.

I wish I had read this article earlier in the day, because as I read it, I thought to myelf I'm doing 80% of the stuff on this list - and NOT even getting paid for it. Hell, I didn't even quit my job to do it. Organically there are some things I gravitate to that I would do for free because I enjoy doing them. The thing is, I'm trying to get paid NOW in real life, in real time.

If I was retired on a pension, with my mortgage fully paid, I would probably be doing exactly the same JOBS I am doing now. I am working with three non profits consulting with them all and there are days I walk away, thinking "damn I am good, but shit, can I get a paycheck?" Or simply, "damn can you pay me within a month window??"

When my former college colleague asked me to step in, by the time I got there, it had all worked out, his organization had their own opening speaker /MC and all I had to do was just do the closing remarks. It was not as stressful as I imagined, I recognized a few people, connected and may have possibly gotten two part-time hires for my organizations (a writer/editor for one and publicity person for the other). (They'll have to find out for themselves how low and infrequently it pays.)

On the way home, I got drenched (literally through to my underwear), my umbrella flew away, my toes where squishing in my boots, but even with the bad weather, I was pretty cool with the fact I overcame that fear of speaking to a group. Am glad I did not quit.

Giving too much?

Read this very short article on Idealist and I came to the conclusion that I'm a "failed giver" both in work and life.  I am always still surprised when I learned when people don't "look out for each other" I still can't totally grasp the concept of "watch for yoursef and only for yourself" -- maybe if I had, I'd be rich and successful and gainfully employed! LOL

I need to pick this book up...or find a course that teaches one how to be selfish and watch out only for yourself - LEARN TO BE USER 101.

Sent from my iPhone

The Forgotten Woman

Am cleaning out my laptop in order to send it for repairs before the warranty expires, without this puppy I am utterly lost and would have to wait for 15 minute intervals at the library to access their computers.

As I read, delete and sort through countless unread emails that I long ago filed in my "read later" folder, I found the following article that a colleague sent.  I never read it even though my colleague wrote in the body of her email, "I am a single mom of two and feel exactly the same way this woman feels! I know you sure as hell can relate to this article."  I clicked on the link and started reading it, and it struck a chord -- four years later after this artcle was written I sit here today and I feel exactly the same way as both the friend who sent it back then, and the writer did!

Posted November 17, 2010 on AOL job, "The Forgotten Woman" was written by a single woman, with no children, who worked as a CEO/CFO of a construction company before being laid off.

She honestly shares... "No one could have ever prepared me for the magnitude of loss that accompanies unemployment. What most people don't realize is that today's unemployed are the lepers in society from years gone by. The judgment and apathy you experience from others is indescribable at best. I was once surrounded by hundreds of friends, happy-hour invitations and social outings; now I am completely and unequivocally on my own. Single in the truest sense of the word. Oddly enough, my closest friends left first, within the first six months. And as each month passed, the phone calls of support lessened, the offers to help disappeared and e-mails went unanswered."

Click here to read the rest of Mollee D. Harper's story.

Kudos to LA Times

Kudos to the LA Times for their work!

It's been well over a year that I have been reading the stories featured in the LA Times and while I have never blogged about it til now -- I've constantly been sending links via emails and texts to colleagues.

What the LA Times did is bring faces and stories to the "Great Recession" and simply put it out there for all to see. I find that overall we are walking around with blinders on, making it really easy to blame people for the situations they are in, easy to assume that no one is taking responsibility or accountability for the positions they are in -- when the reality is its a much larger issue that seems to be getting swept under the rug. I am unable to understand it, is the mentality, "if we do not talk about it it does NOT exist?" Or,  "if we do not talk about it, it will go away?" Or,  "if we do not talk about it, it is OK because it will work itself out?"

The LA Times asks its readers, "How has the recession affected you?, [and]  invites readers to share stories about how America’s economic downturn has changed their lives."

Finally, someone is listening. Someone is asking. Someone is putting a face to the problem. Because what I have seen around me is that for far too long employed people have been berating unemployed people: "stop playing the victim," "you are not trying hard enough to get a job," "you need to send out more resumes," "you made the decision to be unemployed"  (yes I actually heard that).

Maybe some how, some way, this will help towards finding solutions for employment. Maybe it will help towards removing the stigmas attached to being unemployed, or finally finally maybe teach those who have never experienced it to have some empathy.

Thank you LA Times!

Tax Filing

Illustration from Writer Unboxed website

Sadly, if you are like me this year (and for the past four years) you are filing taxes at crunch time. However, this year, thanks to a Small Business Administrative Tax workshop in September 2013, I met a woman who had experience working with freelancers and small business owners and kept in touch with her in hopes that she can do my taxes.

Today I learned (a) physical 1099s  are not always necessary to file taxes, (b)  xerox copies of the checks and actual deposit slips are all that you need.  I waited THIS LATE because two of my 2013 freelance clients have yet to submit their 1099s. I sit there after hearing this, thinking to myself, "damn, I have been filing taxes since I was 16 and NO ONE ever gave me that bit of advice." For the past four years, it's embarrassing enough to be have incomes of 12k, 8k and yes a walloping 3k and I have found myself filing taxes April 14 or April 15 waiting for those damn 1099s.

This woman taught me more in the one hour and half I met with her than all the male accountants I have had and two horrific experiences with H&R Block. The guys I have had were great, but somewhere along the line, they began to just shuffled me along or squeezed me in and by year 5 and 10, they got lazy - that laziness resulted in harassing letters from the IRS. The first failed to put the postage on the envelope and I ended up paying late fees, he did eventually reimburse me because of his error. Once I got that check, I let him know I would not be using him again. I tried H&R Block, out of desperation.  Second after year five, forgot to hit the SEND button, when we filed electronically, sorry Charlie, but I am not using you again. So last year I found myself turning to  H&R Block again. The cost was $80 more than the accountants I used - it took almost eight months to download last years tax forms and the guy today, is no where to be found.

Today this new accountant was informative, helpful, patient, and basically let me know -- contrary to what I heard eons ago, I need only file as a DBA and not a INC company for my freelance editing, marketing, public relations and writing work. Who knew? So I am finally going to officially desolve the already inactive business and hope that 2014 will be my lucky year: either more freelance work or a permanent position.

Oh one last thing, I embarrassingly made $6,000 in 2013 - apparently too much money for tax credit from NY State, so I have to PAY THEM $439. Yet another reason to love NY! The accountant talked about a few other issues with my income being so low - but I glazed over when I found out I had to fork over the bucks. It only takes me freaking THREE to FOUR months to get paid by my last client...and now I have to give it away???

Faces of Hunger

This Sunday's USA Weekend featured a story by Marisol Bello highlighing how the Great Recession is affecting even those families that are working.

Click here to read Hunger is a 'silent crisis' in the USA...

Graduation approaching

photo from Huffington Post 

Spring is struggling to approach, the trees are so bare that if it were not for the birds chirping you would swear it was January 3. Even with 50 degree weather peaking its head out maybe once or twice a week, I can not imagine that anyone graduating in May can possibly be hopeful about their degree. So many people I know are so NOT working in the fields they hoped to. A few of their kids are just graduating and getting ready to simply come back home. Yeah, so there are some instances where it's a three people household (all with degrees) and well - only one is working!

A line from Richard Yates 1961 novel, Revolutionary Road  just about sums up the good ol' US of A..."You want to play house, you got to have a job. You want to play very nice house, then you got to have a job you don't like. Great. This is the way ninety-eight-point-nine per cent of the people work things out." 

But hell,  today some of us can't find a job we don't like.

This week, the Huffington Post reposted this article originally from The Baseline Scenario.  We know today what what we knew back in 2010...the times are NOT a'changing...Unemployment, Student Debt Poses Huge Risks For Young People, by Mark Paul and Anastasia Wilson repost.

Rhode Island on the map?

A colleague of mine has been discussing an idea she has for a "Great Recession" project for the past two years, I keep telling her to go ahead and start working on it, it is long overdue, and much needed.

Today another colleague forwarded me a link where a Rhode Island councilman wants to "use the stories, photos, and names of unemployed Rhode Islanders to keep the pressure on House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) to allow an up or down vote on legislation that would extend unemployment benefits."

Hey buddy, just take a drive out on onto any ol' Main Street U.S. there are millions of us out there and none of us have been heard. I only hope that he manages to shed some light on the many those voices from across the U.S. as well.

Positive Thinking

Being unemployed in New York is truly a very special experience. 

It fills one person with so much positivity that it no longer becomes annoying when family and friends sigh and say "it will get better" or are supportive enough to tell you those wonderful words "accept it or change it. " (Wow, really, thank you I did NOT think I was doing just enough to seek out work!)

If a person manages to be unsuccessful in gaining employment – there are no words to explain the valuable life lessons that one learns. Above all, there are small bonuses that one reflects upon at the end of the day to not feel defeated, or to actually convince themselves they really are a contributing member to society.

WALKING:

Being unemployed in New York City allows you to take in the sites and helps you achieve your fitness walking goals of 10,000 steps a day or more, especially if:

You find yourself walking to the closest library to access Internet for 15 minute intervals because  your “borrowed internet” from someone in your building only works every 3 minutes.

Walking to interviews– you achieve a nice healthy glow when arriving to an interview. The best is workout is achieved when you interview 1.5 or 2 hours away from your home and on your return trip you learn, as you swipe your metro card, or hand your ticket to the metro north conductor or your one sole bank/credit card at the booth that you do not have enough funds to get yourself home.

FACE-TO-FACE COMMUNICATION

An unemployed New Yorker learns how to better communicate in person because you know what?  You quickly learn that you can NOT make outgoing calls on a regular basis! The joys of a being unemployed allows you to save your minutes ONLY for phone interviews and permits you to communicate with friends and family in person.  People who otherwise make assumptions about the air of mysteriousness about you -- who assume you are "going through something" or "need to find God" or "need to change your attitude" have no clue or basic understanding, that I am just trying to make sure my minutes stay within the package that I can afford. 

NEGOTIATION SKILLS

No one ever shares the joys or adrenaline rush one gets with speaking with the lovely representatives of Verizon. It should officially be considered an Olympic sport and allow people to be graded on:

• ability to remain calm and steady while avoiding yelling or profanity, 
• ability to stay the course after speaking to more than three customer service reps, 
• expertise on how to negotiate making small payments on a monthly basis that allows you to receive calls yet, NOT make outgoing calls, 
• proficiency in best utilizing allocated minutes on the cheapest package, 
• efficiency in navigating the course of a strictly iPhone only free texting service,
• the highest medal awarded of course, should be to those who successfully manage to NOT have their service cut off entirely and maintain the phone number which is attached to the thousands of resumes mailed out on a monthly basis.  

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

There are no words to fully explain how productive a person can be with no outgoing phone service, no Internet, and basically no funds to travel anywhere outside of a job interview.

What makes NYC uniquely special is then when you have a part-time job but not “paid enough” to be considered a full-time employee, yet being paid enough to be considered “ below poverty level” yet surprisingly enough, NOT enough to be considered for any type of assistance program in NYC.  All of these options allow for endless hours of meditation to contemplate the wonderful situation you are in and how to make the best of it. Hmmmmmm, do can clean out my room today, do I clean out the basement, should I stare at the living room ceiling today or the bedroom ceiling…should I see if the Internet works? Hmmmmm, I wonder when I will get some money so I can buy ink for my printer so I can print out some resumes - because all those Staples rewards you never used, hmmmmmm are no expired. 

KEEPING HEALTHY

If you are like me and your $1,000 a month COBRA payment expired, you learn to basically try your best to be as healthy as possible. Unfortunately that is not the case, because if you are like me, if the kid the aisle down in the supermarket happens to have pink eye, then bingo tomorrow I have pink eye. Or if you attend a series of networking events, shaking hands and exchanging resumes and business cards, then bingo, tomorrow you wake up and learn you have somehow contracted the mumps (seriously, I NO clue that the mumps even still existed in the U.S.)

So the joys of being unemployed without insurance - unless you manage to find a fantastic program like ACCESS on Madien Lane - is stay home avoid people, to avoid getting sick. After all you do not even the metro card to travel anyway! 

HEALTHCARE EXPERTISE

Being unemployed in NYC allows you plenty of time to access the NYPL to research the endless healthcare opportunities available those who don’t have the funds to fully pay for decent healthcare. The knowledge gained when you have to do cancer testing and research is immeasurable. The experience of receiving bills of $2,000 and up is inexplicable. The level of research needed to navigate the hundreds of doctors needed for your specific ailment that take your insurance and can see you within the next six months and are willing to take new patients may only be comparably to the research experience needed to say, "how to build a rocket yourself that will land you to the moon."

OPTIMISM and RESOURCEFULNESS

Yes, being unemployed in NYC leaves one with much room for optimism and resourcefulness. The possibilities are endless as you turn over each stone, looking for new volunteer opportunities within walking distance that can possibly lead to work. Or sending that email to an old colleague in hopes that maybe they ARE finally working and can connect you to a possible lead. The optimism that yes, there is opportunity just around the corner for someone with a special level of expertise, even at your age. 

WEEDING OUT THE ESSENTIALS

Being unemployed in NYC teaches you to weed out the excess. How much can your unused furniture, clothing and jewelry can be sold for in order to cover the basic essentials of surviving in NYC: obtaining transportation, a phone, a meal and roof over your head. It is truly a wonderful experience for those who are unable to turn to their family for financial support for the everyday essentials. The blessing of having a roof over ones head and a bed to sleep in are indescribable. But surviving the daily existence – well I have NOT seen or read The Hunger Games, but I am sure it’s paving a way for the model for how this society will be moving forward.

Being unemployed in NYC is like no other experience in the world. Those lucky few who have had the opportunity to experience it will learn to cherish the relationships that were maintained during this period will consider the value a phone call or dinner with a friend that has weathered the storm something truly priceless.

Truly, if you can survive being unemployed in New York City, then like the song says, you can make it anywhere.

Frustrations of a Part-Timer

As a consulting part-timer, its gets really frustrating to submit a bill and not have it paid til three months after the submission. Especially since I work eight hours week, but never a full 32 hours a month - I mean seriously,  you can't cut a check for me people?? So sometimes I just have to sit home and stare at the ceiling because (a) I have no commuting money (b) I can't meet friends for lunch or dinner (c) I can't even make outgoing phone calls because my phone service is yet again having outgoing service cut off. (Sorry for repeating myself, again.) There are days that I vent, days that I cry out of frustration, days that I hope the weather will be good enough so I just take a walk in the park.

Friends and maybe one or two family members will ask "why do you stay, you are averaging about $300 a month sometimes." It gets tired trying to explain to them, "you know what -- even though it takes them three months to pay me...well, people, it's a freaking income that I did NOT have last year!"   Am I too old, am I too frustrated, am I over qualified, I don't know...but what I do know is that it works out in their favor to keep me on as a part-timer. And for the time being it works out in my favor to be able to have ANY form of income.

I just recently found out one of my co-workers has worked with them for seven years, and gets laid off every summer, collects unemployment, then goes back to work. I was speechless - but her response was "it's the only job offer I've been made in years and no matter how many resumes I send out -- I get no feedback, so the fact that they call me back in the fall has worked out just fine... my kids have me for the summer, my husband gets a little financial help,  and I get out of the house during the fall and winter months."

Just a few years ago, my dream job was to work two to four days a week from home working with people that I admire, that I can learn from and somehow make a tiny dent in the world somehow. Well here I am today, working two days a week from home, working with people that I find intellectually stimulating, am always learning something new from them when I meet with them, sitting in board meetings, working with programs that provide skills and literacy to kids that would normally NOT be exposed to some of these art mediums. So I should be grateful right? Be careful what you wish for -- because the income is no where near enough to cover a month's rent (thank you Pops for letting me crash here) - if I am lucky some months it will cover basic phone and commuting costs, with an excursion once or twice a month. I'm wincing if it's some one's birthday because I don't know how to handle that. So I volunteer in order to avoid walking around so frustrated that I am screaming at anyone who crosses my path -- even though I've been there a few times and back.

Rob Walker shares his "Frustrations of a Part-Timer" with the NYT.com  Workologist, thanks Rob it's good to know I AM NOT ALONE!

Too Old To Work

Those of you who thought you may not be "employable" because of your age, may not be wrong.

While the publishing industry has vastly evolved through the years, the down side is downsizing, leaving many many talented folks largely unemployed. I know a few that are going on seven years without work and the numbers continue to increase, no matter how many times they may have attempted to reinvent themselves and their positions.

AARP sent out this email asking all to tell Congress to "stand up for older workers"-  I believe there is powers in numbers...

For more information and to be heard, visit the AARP site to take action here.

Your friend lost their job…

Check out what Idealist has to say.

Being unemployed is a bitch. Especially in NYC. Especially if you have been working since you were 16. Especially if you are the product of a parents who came to New York for better opportunities. Immigrants tend to instill in their children, "WORK WORK WORK. You have to work twice has hard as they do to get half of what they have." It is ingrained in your every fiber that to be productive, to be constantly working, to not be "lazy," that to having a job is more than just part of the package of the "American Dream" - it represents who you are as a person. Period. In order to exist, you have to have a job. Needless to say, in NYC you are the "forgotten invisible ones" if you are unemployed (at this rate just put me up in an old age home and call it day.)

Saying you are unemployed is like saying you have leprosy. People walk away, keep away, stop calling, assume "you are going through something," "are too negative to be around", the list is endless. Even Mother Teresa would need to bite her tongue and prevent herself from telling her friends and family  "F*# U biaatch... put yourself in my shoes - let me see YOU hustling on a daily basis to simply cover your basic monthly phone bill or commuting costs to interview appointments. Let me see you sending out 50-75 resumes or more a month and just sit and wait for the phone to ring. Let me see you negotiate with Verizon on a monthly basis to kept incoming service on."

So, the next time you hear a friend is unemployed. Stop and listen, we all need to vent. Ask them for their resume and offer to send it to people who you think may be hiring. Take them out for a cup of hot chocolate or ask them to join you for a walk. Offer to have them over for a potluck dinner to watch a movie. That's what unemployed folks need.

If you enjoyed their company when they were working, why not now? Are they not the same person who had hopes and dreams yesterday. Are they not the same person who was always in your corner cheering you on?

 It's that simple. Do not disappear - that makes the unemployed person feel like, "you know what, when I had money and was paying their way...these folks were always around...now that I can not pay their way, much less for myself - they have dropped me like a hot potato."

It's pretty basic, your self-worth is re-examined daily as an unemployed person. Interviews can sometimes be so demoralizing...especially if you make it that far.  Lately most employers are doing survey email questions, moving on to phone interviews, and if you are one of the lucky ones, an in person interview is next. So by the time an unemployed person gets to meet an actual interviewer, they are  are so numb and expressionless - there is no motivation because one walks in wondering, "what hoop do I need to jump through now?

So if you value that friendship and what that person brought to the table prior to their being unemployed, stick around and let them know what you did value about them.

If you do not believe me, check out what IDEALIST has to say, the next time you hear a friend has lost his/her job.


Sent from my iPhone

Fired at 50+

Here's what AARP.org has to say about it....

Dear Unemployed New Yorker, Every American worker deserves fair treatment in the workplace, regardless of their age. A new bill in the Senate would help older workers fight back against discrimination – but your members of Congress need to know you're counting on them to pass it. Contact your members of Congress now to urge them to support older workers! "You're too old – and you're fired." Outrageous, right? Unfortunately, more and more older Americans are getting that message – and others like it – from their employers. No worker deserves to be ousted from their job, passed over for promotion, or denied access to training and development opportunities because they are older. But in these tough economic times, many older workers with impressive experience can't even get an interview because of their age. Right now, Congress has a chance to help change that. A new bill in the Senate would protect older workers and provide them with ways to fight back against unfair age discrimination. But the bill won't pass without a groundswell of support – will you contact your members of Congress today to ask them to stand up for older workers? All workers should be judged on their skills and abilities, not their age. But just last year, an AARP study found that nearly 2 in every 3 workers had either seen or experienced age discrimination in the workplace. Almost 20% of those surveyed said that they weren't hired for a job due to their age and nearly 10% told us they had been laid off or fired as a result of discrimination! Meanwhile, a Supreme Court ruling has made it more difficult to prove age discrimination than it is to prove discrimination based on race, religion, or gender. Discrimination based on any part of a worker's identity is wrong and unfair. The Protecting Older Workers Against Discrimination Act (POWADA) would help restore older workers' rights under the law – rights that were lost due to the Court's unfair ruling. The fact is that older workers have been hit particularly hard by the recession – and many Americans 50+ now need to work longer because they can't afford to retire. But the discrimination that older workers face in the job market often keeps people from the work they need. It's one of the main reasons it takes older workers almost a full year, on average, to find work. And when a worker finally does land a new job, it's often for less money, which can have a devastating impact on their ability to support their families or live independently. Vivian, passing this bill is a no-brainer – every American worker deserves to be treated fairly on the job, regardless of age. But to make sure Congress does the right thing, we need to let them know that a majority of Americans support it. Send your message today and urge your members of Congress to protect every American's right to work, no matter how old they are. With your help, we can make sure all Americans can access the financial security they deserve. Thanks for taking action at this critical time. Sincerely, Fred Griesbach AARP Campaigns AARP.ORG  |  MAKE A DONATION  |  TELL A FRIEND  |  JOIN US ON:  AARP 601 E Street NW, Washington, DC 20049

Sent from my iPhone

Writing off the unemployed

For months, well since November, if I havee gotten one phone call or "hello" or "how are you" from a family member, it's one call too many. Again, each one assuming that I am not doing "enough" or thinking "positive enough" to seek out permanent work. Friends are a bit more understanding and supportive.

I am extremely grateful for the one sole family member who referred me to a job lead. Unfortunately that lead to a series of long term interviews and with the employer in Long Island and about a two-hour commute and without a license or a car, my commute became the focus of the follow up interviews. I should have never mentioned how I got there. I have learned a valuable lesson since that interview! The woman wanted to hire me and was "trying to figure out a way for me to work in one of her other locations until I get my license."After a while, she said she felt that it would be best she hire someone who actually lived in Long Island. Had I never mentioned my commute during the interview, maybe now I would have been working. Maybe now I just would have been living in a friends basement studio apartment, just 26 minutes away from that Long Island location. Maybe now I would be earning a normal regular income.

So today, the latest jabs from the family are now "when are you going to learn how to drive?" Hello? Cost of exam and driving lessons is just as hard to come by as a freaking metro card -- maybe if I ask them to pay for that expense they will shut up? I know I can do it, but I also know that I need to get hired first so I can pay for the exams, lessons and license.

An article was featured in the New York Times today finally acknowledging some issues about long-term unemployment...I hope others get to read it and maybe understand.

  "the long-term unemployed are mainly victims of circumstances — ordinary American workers who had the bad luck to lose their jobs (which can happen to anyone) at a time of extraordinary labor market weakness, with three times as many people seeking jobs as there are job openings. Once that happened, the very fact of their unemployment made it very hard to find a new job."
(I wonder how months of research did it take them to figure this out???)

For more, read here: Writing off the Unemployed by op-ed columnist Paul Krugman.