Your friend lost their job…

Check out what Idealist has to say.

Being unemployed is a bitch. Especially in NYC. Especially if you have been working since you were 16. Especially if you are the product of a parents who came to New York for better opportunities. Immigrants tend to instill in their children, "WORK WORK WORK. You have to work twice has hard as they do to get half of what they have." It is ingrained in your every fiber that to be productive, to be constantly working, to not be "lazy," that to having a job is more than just part of the package of the "American Dream" - it represents who you are as a person. Period. In order to exist, you have to have a job. Needless to say, in NYC you are the "forgotten invisible ones" if you are unemployed (at this rate just put me up in an old age home and call it day.)

Saying you are unemployed is like saying you have leprosy. People walk away, keep away, stop calling, assume "you are going through something," "are too negative to be around", the list is endless. Even Mother Teresa would need to bite her tongue and prevent herself from telling her friends and family  "F*# U biaatch... put yourself in my shoes - let me see YOU hustling on a daily basis to simply cover your basic monthly phone bill or commuting costs to interview appointments. Let me see you sending out 50-75 resumes or more a month and just sit and wait for the phone to ring. Let me see you negotiate with Verizon on a monthly basis to kept incoming service on."

So, the next time you hear a friend is unemployed. Stop and listen, we all need to vent. Ask them for their resume and offer to send it to people who you think may be hiring. Take them out for a cup of hot chocolate or ask them to join you for a walk. Offer to have them over for a potluck dinner to watch a movie. That's what unemployed folks need.

If you enjoyed their company when they were working, why not now? Are they not the same person who had hopes and dreams yesterday. Are they not the same person who was always in your corner cheering you on?

 It's that simple. Do not disappear - that makes the unemployed person feel like, "you know what, when I had money and was paying their way...these folks were always around...now that I can not pay their way, much less for myself - they have dropped me like a hot potato."

It's pretty basic, your self-worth is re-examined daily as an unemployed person. Interviews can sometimes be so demoralizing...especially if you make it that far.  Lately most employers are doing survey email questions, moving on to phone interviews, and if you are one of the lucky ones, an in person interview is next. So by the time an unemployed person gets to meet an actual interviewer, they are  are so numb and expressionless - there is no motivation because one walks in wondering, "what hoop do I need to jump through now?

So if you value that friendship and what that person brought to the table prior to their being unemployed, stick around and let them know what you did value about them.

If you do not believe me, check out what IDEALIST has to say, the next time you hear a friend has lost his/her job.


Sent from my iPhone