Giving too much?

Read this very short article on Idealist and I came to the conclusion that I'm a "failed giver" both in work and life.  I am always still surprised when I learned when people don't "look out for each other" I still can't totally grasp the concept of "watch for yoursef and only for yourself" -- maybe if I had, I'd be rich and successful and gainfully employed! LOL

I need to pick this book up...or find a course that teaches one how to be selfish and watch out only for yourself - LEARN TO BE USER 101.

Sent from my iPhone

The Forgotten Woman

Am cleaning out my laptop in order to send it for repairs before the warranty expires, without this puppy I am utterly lost and would have to wait for 15 minute intervals at the library to access their computers.

As I read, delete and sort through countless unread emails that I long ago filed in my "read later" folder, I found the following article that a colleague sent.  I never read it even though my colleague wrote in the body of her email, "I am a single mom of two and feel exactly the same way this woman feels! I know you sure as hell can relate to this article."  I clicked on the link and started reading it, and it struck a chord -- four years later after this artcle was written I sit here today and I feel exactly the same way as both the friend who sent it back then, and the writer did!

Posted November 17, 2010 on AOL job, "The Forgotten Woman" was written by a single woman, with no children, who worked as a CEO/CFO of a construction company before being laid off.

She honestly shares... "No one could have ever prepared me for the magnitude of loss that accompanies unemployment. What most people don't realize is that today's unemployed are the lepers in society from years gone by. The judgment and apathy you experience from others is indescribable at best. I was once surrounded by hundreds of friends, happy-hour invitations and social outings; now I am completely and unequivocally on my own. Single in the truest sense of the word. Oddly enough, my closest friends left first, within the first six months. And as each month passed, the phone calls of support lessened, the offers to help disappeared and e-mails went unanswered."

Click here to read the rest of Mollee D. Harper's story.

Kudos to LA Times

Kudos to the LA Times for their work!

It's been well over a year that I have been reading the stories featured in the LA Times and while I have never blogged about it til now -- I've constantly been sending links via emails and texts to colleagues.

What the LA Times did is bring faces and stories to the "Great Recession" and simply put it out there for all to see. I find that overall we are walking around with blinders on, making it really easy to blame people for the situations they are in, easy to assume that no one is taking responsibility or accountability for the positions they are in -- when the reality is its a much larger issue that seems to be getting swept under the rug. I am unable to understand it, is the mentality, "if we do not talk about it it does NOT exist?" Or,  "if we do not talk about it, it will go away?" Or,  "if we do not talk about it, it is OK because it will work itself out?"

The LA Times asks its readers, "How has the recession affected you?, [and]  invites readers to share stories about how America’s economic downturn has changed their lives."

Finally, someone is listening. Someone is asking. Someone is putting a face to the problem. Because what I have seen around me is that for far too long employed people have been berating unemployed people: "stop playing the victim," "you are not trying hard enough to get a job," "you need to send out more resumes," "you made the decision to be unemployed"  (yes I actually heard that).

Maybe some how, some way, this will help towards finding solutions for employment. Maybe it will help towards removing the stigmas attached to being unemployed, or finally finally maybe teach those who have never experienced it to have some empathy.

Thank you LA Times!

Tax Filing

Illustration from Writer Unboxed website

Sadly, if you are like me this year (and for the past four years) you are filing taxes at crunch time. However, this year, thanks to a Small Business Administrative Tax workshop in September 2013, I met a woman who had experience working with freelancers and small business owners and kept in touch with her in hopes that she can do my taxes.

Today I learned (a) physical 1099s  are not always necessary to file taxes, (b)  xerox copies of the checks and actual deposit slips are all that you need.  I waited THIS LATE because two of my 2013 freelance clients have yet to submit their 1099s. I sit there after hearing this, thinking to myself, "damn, I have been filing taxes since I was 16 and NO ONE ever gave me that bit of advice." For the past four years, it's embarrassing enough to be have incomes of 12k, 8k and yes a walloping 3k and I have found myself filing taxes April 14 or April 15 waiting for those damn 1099s.

This woman taught me more in the one hour and half I met with her than all the male accountants I have had and two horrific experiences with H&R Block. The guys I have had were great, but somewhere along the line, they began to just shuffled me along or squeezed me in and by year 5 and 10, they got lazy - that laziness resulted in harassing letters from the IRS. The first failed to put the postage on the envelope and I ended up paying late fees, he did eventually reimburse me because of his error. Once I got that check, I let him know I would not be using him again. I tried H&R Block, out of desperation.  Second after year five, forgot to hit the SEND button, when we filed electronically, sorry Charlie, but I am not using you again. So last year I found myself turning to  H&R Block again. The cost was $80 more than the accountants I used - it took almost eight months to download last years tax forms and the guy today, is no where to be found.

Today this new accountant was informative, helpful, patient, and basically let me know -- contrary to what I heard eons ago, I need only file as a DBA and not a INC company for my freelance editing, marketing, public relations and writing work. Who knew? So I am finally going to officially desolve the already inactive business and hope that 2014 will be my lucky year: either more freelance work or a permanent position.

Oh one last thing, I embarrassingly made $6,000 in 2013 - apparently too much money for tax credit from NY State, so I have to PAY THEM $439. Yet another reason to love NY! The accountant talked about a few other issues with my income being so low - but I glazed over when I found out I had to fork over the bucks. It only takes me freaking THREE to FOUR months to get paid by my last client...and now I have to give it away???

Faces of Hunger

This Sunday's USA Weekend featured a story by Marisol Bello highlighing how the Great Recession is affecting even those families that are working.

Click here to read Hunger is a 'silent crisis' in the USA...

Graduation approaching

photo from Huffington Post 

Spring is struggling to approach, the trees are so bare that if it were not for the birds chirping you would swear it was January 3. Even with 50 degree weather peaking its head out maybe once or twice a week, I can not imagine that anyone graduating in May can possibly be hopeful about their degree. So many people I know are so NOT working in the fields they hoped to. A few of their kids are just graduating and getting ready to simply come back home. Yeah, so there are some instances where it's a three people household (all with degrees) and well - only one is working!

A line from Richard Yates 1961 novel, Revolutionary Road  just about sums up the good ol' US of A..."You want to play house, you got to have a job. You want to play very nice house, then you got to have a job you don't like. Great. This is the way ninety-eight-point-nine per cent of the people work things out." 

But hell,  today some of us can't find a job we don't like.

This week, the Huffington Post reposted this article originally from The Baseline Scenario.  We know today what what we knew back in 2010...the times are NOT a'changing...Unemployment, Student Debt Poses Huge Risks For Young People, by Mark Paul and Anastasia Wilson repost.

Rhode Island on the map?

A colleague of mine has been discussing an idea she has for a "Great Recession" project for the past two years, I keep telling her to go ahead and start working on it, it is long overdue, and much needed.

Today another colleague forwarded me a link where a Rhode Island councilman wants to "use the stories, photos, and names of unemployed Rhode Islanders to keep the pressure on House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) to allow an up or down vote on legislation that would extend unemployment benefits."

Hey buddy, just take a drive out on onto any ol' Main Street U.S. there are millions of us out there and none of us have been heard. I only hope that he manages to shed some light on the many those voices from across the U.S. as well.

Positive Thinking

Being unemployed in New York is truly a very special experience. 

It fills one person with so much positivity that it no longer becomes annoying when family and friends sigh and say "it will get better" or are supportive enough to tell you those wonderful words "accept it or change it. " (Wow, really, thank you I did NOT think I was doing just enough to seek out work!)

If a person manages to be unsuccessful in gaining employment – there are no words to explain the valuable life lessons that one learns. Above all, there are small bonuses that one reflects upon at the end of the day to not feel defeated, or to actually convince themselves they really are a contributing member to society.

WALKING:

Being unemployed in New York City allows you to take in the sites and helps you achieve your fitness walking goals of 10,000 steps a day or more, especially if:

You find yourself walking to the closest library to access Internet for 15 minute intervals because  your “borrowed internet” from someone in your building only works every 3 minutes.

Walking to interviews– you achieve a nice healthy glow when arriving to an interview. The best is workout is achieved when you interview 1.5 or 2 hours away from your home and on your return trip you learn, as you swipe your metro card, or hand your ticket to the metro north conductor or your one sole bank/credit card at the booth that you do not have enough funds to get yourself home.

FACE-TO-FACE COMMUNICATION

An unemployed New Yorker learns how to better communicate in person because you know what?  You quickly learn that you can NOT make outgoing calls on a regular basis! The joys of a being unemployed allows you to save your minutes ONLY for phone interviews and permits you to communicate with friends and family in person.  People who otherwise make assumptions about the air of mysteriousness about you -- who assume you are "going through something" or "need to find God" or "need to change your attitude" have no clue or basic understanding, that I am just trying to make sure my minutes stay within the package that I can afford. 

NEGOTIATION SKILLS

No one ever shares the joys or adrenaline rush one gets with speaking with the lovely representatives of Verizon. It should officially be considered an Olympic sport and allow people to be graded on:

• ability to remain calm and steady while avoiding yelling or profanity, 
• ability to stay the course after speaking to more than three customer service reps, 
• expertise on how to negotiate making small payments on a monthly basis that allows you to receive calls yet, NOT make outgoing calls, 
• proficiency in best utilizing allocated minutes on the cheapest package, 
• efficiency in navigating the course of a strictly iPhone only free texting service,
• the highest medal awarded of course, should be to those who successfully manage to NOT have their service cut off entirely and maintain the phone number which is attached to the thousands of resumes mailed out on a monthly basis.  

MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

There are no words to fully explain how productive a person can be with no outgoing phone service, no Internet, and basically no funds to travel anywhere outside of a job interview.

What makes NYC uniquely special is then when you have a part-time job but not “paid enough” to be considered a full-time employee, yet being paid enough to be considered “ below poverty level” yet surprisingly enough, NOT enough to be considered for any type of assistance program in NYC.  All of these options allow for endless hours of meditation to contemplate the wonderful situation you are in and how to make the best of it. Hmmmmmm, do can clean out my room today, do I clean out the basement, should I stare at the living room ceiling today or the bedroom ceiling…should I see if the Internet works? Hmmmmm, I wonder when I will get some money so I can buy ink for my printer so I can print out some resumes - because all those Staples rewards you never used, hmmmmmm are no expired. 

KEEPING HEALTHY

If you are like me and your $1,000 a month COBRA payment expired, you learn to basically try your best to be as healthy as possible. Unfortunately that is not the case, because if you are like me, if the kid the aisle down in the supermarket happens to have pink eye, then bingo tomorrow I have pink eye. Or if you attend a series of networking events, shaking hands and exchanging resumes and business cards, then bingo, tomorrow you wake up and learn you have somehow contracted the mumps (seriously, I NO clue that the mumps even still existed in the U.S.)

So the joys of being unemployed without insurance - unless you manage to find a fantastic program like ACCESS on Madien Lane - is stay home avoid people, to avoid getting sick. After all you do not even the metro card to travel anyway! 

HEALTHCARE EXPERTISE

Being unemployed in NYC allows you plenty of time to access the NYPL to research the endless healthcare opportunities available those who don’t have the funds to fully pay for decent healthcare. The knowledge gained when you have to do cancer testing and research is immeasurable. The experience of receiving bills of $2,000 and up is inexplicable. The level of research needed to navigate the hundreds of doctors needed for your specific ailment that take your insurance and can see you within the next six months and are willing to take new patients may only be comparably to the research experience needed to say, "how to build a rocket yourself that will land you to the moon."

OPTIMISM and RESOURCEFULNESS

Yes, being unemployed in NYC leaves one with much room for optimism and resourcefulness. The possibilities are endless as you turn over each stone, looking for new volunteer opportunities within walking distance that can possibly lead to work. Or sending that email to an old colleague in hopes that maybe they ARE finally working and can connect you to a possible lead. The optimism that yes, there is opportunity just around the corner for someone with a special level of expertise, even at your age. 

WEEDING OUT THE ESSENTIALS

Being unemployed in NYC teaches you to weed out the excess. How much can your unused furniture, clothing and jewelry can be sold for in order to cover the basic essentials of surviving in NYC: obtaining transportation, a phone, a meal and roof over your head. It is truly a wonderful experience for those who are unable to turn to their family for financial support for the everyday essentials. The blessing of having a roof over ones head and a bed to sleep in are indescribable. But surviving the daily existence – well I have NOT seen or read The Hunger Games, but I am sure it’s paving a way for the model for how this society will be moving forward.

Being unemployed in NYC is like no other experience in the world. Those lucky few who have had the opportunity to experience it will learn to cherish the relationships that were maintained during this period will consider the value a phone call or dinner with a friend that has weathered the storm something truly priceless.

Truly, if you can survive being unemployed in New York City, then like the song says, you can make it anywhere.

Frustrations of a Part-Timer

As a consulting part-timer, its gets really frustrating to submit a bill and not have it paid til three months after the submission. Especially since I work eight hours week, but never a full 32 hours a month - I mean seriously,  you can't cut a check for me people?? So sometimes I just have to sit home and stare at the ceiling because (a) I have no commuting money (b) I can't meet friends for lunch or dinner (c) I can't even make outgoing phone calls because my phone service is yet again having outgoing service cut off. (Sorry for repeating myself, again.) There are days that I vent, days that I cry out of frustration, days that I hope the weather will be good enough so I just take a walk in the park.

Friends and maybe one or two family members will ask "why do you stay, you are averaging about $300 a month sometimes." It gets tired trying to explain to them, "you know what -- even though it takes them three months to pay me...well, people, it's a freaking income that I did NOT have last year!"   Am I too old, am I too frustrated, am I over qualified, I don't know...but what I do know is that it works out in their favor to keep me on as a part-timer. And for the time being it works out in my favor to be able to have ANY form of income.

I just recently found out one of my co-workers has worked with them for seven years, and gets laid off every summer, collects unemployment, then goes back to work. I was speechless - but her response was "it's the only job offer I've been made in years and no matter how many resumes I send out -- I get no feedback, so the fact that they call me back in the fall has worked out just fine... my kids have me for the summer, my husband gets a little financial help,  and I get out of the house during the fall and winter months."

Just a few years ago, my dream job was to work two to four days a week from home working with people that I admire, that I can learn from and somehow make a tiny dent in the world somehow. Well here I am today, working two days a week from home, working with people that I find intellectually stimulating, am always learning something new from them when I meet with them, sitting in board meetings, working with programs that provide skills and literacy to kids that would normally NOT be exposed to some of these art mediums. So I should be grateful right? Be careful what you wish for -- because the income is no where near enough to cover a month's rent (thank you Pops for letting me crash here) - if I am lucky some months it will cover basic phone and commuting costs, with an excursion once or twice a month. I'm wincing if it's some one's birthday because I don't know how to handle that. So I volunteer in order to avoid walking around so frustrated that I am screaming at anyone who crosses my path -- even though I've been there a few times and back.

Rob Walker shares his "Frustrations of a Part-Timer" with the NYT.com  Workologist, thanks Rob it's good to know I AM NOT ALONE!